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Hi there.
It's the last day of 2016. It's the end of the year. ONE freaking year has passed by so quickly! It's been one hell of roller coaster ride this year. 
I was still struggling for my pregnancy early this year. I still can't accept the awkwardness of being a pregnant mom. I'm literally felt like a potato and penguin. I was so huge and gained almost 10kgs. Phew. Now, I'm still struggling with my weight. I was 48-49 kgs after I gave birth to Adam and the past five years before I got pregnant with Orked. I'm still at the 50's kgs. Hish.
Orked Mariam is 6 months old this month, She is so strong that she can pull her head so high whenever she looks at the bold colours, Didi & Friends's song, any sound of vacuum, blender etc and of course ME! Her face is like saying "mommy is here. Pick me up, please?" She still at the stage trying to grab any toys or Astro remote control nearby, but still can't get them. So, she will give up  an…
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My mom passed away

Hi,everyone! I know it's been 5 months I haven't write anything which I made a promise to myself I will write everything but I didn't. Phew, where should I start?
My mom passed away on my hubby's birthday 28 September at 2.30 am ish. We didn't know the exact time because all of us are sleeping. My dad, grandma and my sister were sleeping with my mom that night. I was sleeping in my room, exhausted. Suddenly my sister came into my room crying loudly saying "mak dah sekda,in" (she's gone) :( I didn't kiss her before I go to sleep that night. I kissed her before I put Adam and Orked to sleep earlier. Her skin was still warm. My grandma and I were the last person with her that morning. I still can talk to her that morning, gave her some foods and drink. Then, I recited Yasin for her until she fell asleep. She never opens her eyes later until her last breath. It was really heartbreaking moment for me.
And a little self reminder for myself and women ou…

Pantang Raya be like...

First, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir & Batin everyone! The day that we love so much every year after our own birthday, I guess. Hehe. I love raya, not only we get to wear pretty kurungs and show it off (well sorta) but I get to meet up with my dear bestfriend, eat lemangs ketupats, cake and drink lots of air gas (carbonated drinks). Well, we used to get angpaus too but as we grew older well in my case I'm married with two kids goodbye angpau. 
I still don't get tooooo excited for raya as I'm turning older and older, but I still want to raya but if you're having pantang raya you'll never feel the raya vibes. Ever. I've told my husband, I don't want give birth on raya or puasa ever. Period. Bammmmm! Things that you never wanted to happen just happen. How magical is that? You just can't plan everything, you have to suck it up and move on. I still can eat those ayam masak merah, daging masak kicap and all except for lemangs, puluts, ketupats…

Twenty four

I'm officially turning to 24 today! Alhamdulillah I'm grateful to be alive being with my two kids Adam Irfan & Orked Mariam, with hubby (who still no birthday wish or surprise this year like last year pfft im so pissed pfft), parents, family & my dearest friends. Thank you for the wishes you guys :)
As much as I'm grateful for today, I'm still in my pantang days. It's been only 13 days since I gave birth to Orked. I want to go out. I want to #sungkeiwithlove with hubby too. Hehe. I want to celebrate my birthday with my favourite food. I want ais kacang. I want to eat bongkol. Most of all I want to go out from the house and shopping! I need to go shopping. I need to buy new clothes for Orked. She needs new clothes and so do mommy. hehe.
It is sucks to be in pantang during Ramadhan. I wish this would be the last one. 

Dreams do come true

It's been a week since I gave birth to my daughter, Orked Mariam. I have always wanted a baby girl. I'm so obsessed with baby girls. Alhamdulillah, I have my own mini me.
It started with a tiny period cramps on that Wednesday night. Well, I did feel the period cramps  two days earlier. Yes, still remember that feeling though I haven't been on period for 9 months. I knew how it feels. I keep on checking for the sign whether I should go to the hospital since Monday. It's Ramadhan Mubarak for us Muslim. So, my goal is to eat as much as I want and satisfy my whole craving. I did. I went to eight bazaar for three days straight with hubby. I got to eat one of my favourite's  kuih, kuih bongkol! :) 
So,back with those period cramps moment. Hubby and I watched Batman on hbo that night. Then I wanted to go to sleep and went straight to the toilet. The red auntie was there! I was totally blank. I didn't know what to do, so I called my sister. She told me to go to the ho…

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all wonder women in the world!
I know, being a mom is not easy, it's a full time job, it's a 24-7 job with no salary, no holiday and it's not about yourself anymore. Sometimes I miss the old me (minus the attitude) I mean having my time alone and actually enjoy without worrying about your child in your mind. Pfft. I guess it's a natural thing for us mommies. You really want to have your moment but you still worrying sick about your chores, hubby and child. I guess women love to overthinking. *sigh*
So, the second baby is on his/her way. Yes, I didn't know the sex yet, since he/she is so malu to show her/himself. So I should name him/her Baby X at the moment. Everyone would guess it's a girl, even my doctor said to me the other day prolly is a girl. I want a girl so bad, but you can never ask too much because you will end up the opposite thing you want. *sigh* Whatever it is all I want is a healthy baby. That's all. 
Here's to …

March Baby

It's the last day of March for 2016, the last year for Adam to be the one and only child, the last year to celebrate his birthday as spoiled brat and I am not ready to move on with the fact that I'm going to have a second baby next June! ♥
It's kind of emotional to know that next year there will be Baby  X to celebrate Adam's birthday together. I swear I just want only ONE child because I want to spoil him, just him. Alone. Selfish? I am. Maybe I'm so scared that I'll never treat Adam like I used to, I'm so worried that I have no time for him, I'm terrified that I might not spend so much time like we used to and I'm not good in spreading the love for three person in one time. Hahaha.

I did tell my hubby once, I love my son more than I'll love him. He is my first love. He's my first baby. He really changes me from the person I used to be. I'm so grateful Adam is my son. I'm really proud of this five years old boy. He's so special…