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Hi there.

It's the last day of 2016. It's the end of the year. ONE freaking year has passed by so quickly! It's been one hell of roller coaster ride this year. 

I was still struggling for my pregnancy early this year. I still can't accept the awkwardness of being a pregnant mom. I'm literally felt like a potato and penguin. I was so huge and gained almost 10kgs. Phew. Now, I'm still struggling with my weight. I was 48-49 kgs after I gave birth to Adam and the past five years before I got pregnant with Orked. I'm still at the 50's kgs. Hish.

Orked Mariam is 6 months old this month, She is so strong that she can pull her head so high whenever she looks at the bold colours, Didi & Friends's song, any sound of vacuum, blender etc and of course ME! Her face is like saying "mommy is here. Pick me up, please?" She still at the stage trying to grab any toys or Astro remote control nearby, but still can't get them. So, she will give up  and cry! I'm still struggling feeding her because it's still new to her. I think her development is slow compared to her brother,Adam. She can't sit in the walker, she shows no sign of crawling but just a long stare at me (waiting for me to pick her up). She is the REAL Lucifer -_-

It was really happy, sad, extremely exhausted year for me. I was pregnant and I took care of my sick of my late mother, the-never-ending-house chores and juggling with Adam's school not to forget adjusting with my new time zone with newborn. I didn't sleep properly at night (still), but I can't go to sleep at day time too bcos I have a 5 years old kiddo who needs to go to school, eat, play and bath. SO, WHAT IS SLEEP?

It's almost 100 days since my mom left us. 100. Time really flies so quickly. We still talk about her daily, everything in the house reminds of her a lot, I still remember what I would do if she is still around with us. She will probably still playing iPad, scrolling her facebook, play with her candy crush, reading gossip and news, stalking our social media and looks up for cake recipe for raya. She would drive me crazy about the kids, what to do's and don'ts and would ask me to do brownies bcos she's craving for it. Oh mak, why did you left us so soon? I really miss you. All of your nagging, your voice, your smile, your laugh, your smell. 

I hope the new year will bring more happiness for me and my family. I hope we can get trough this sadness very, very soon.

Happy New Year, everyone!

From my family to yours :)